Evoking Comfort: Summer Fruit in My Gran's Kitchen

Okanagan peaches - a part of My Personal Comfort Plan

The other evening, as I stood in my kitchen preparing Okanagan peaches for the freezer, the setting sun glanced through my window, bathing the room in a warm, golden light. My mind flashed back to moments in my mum’s kitchen, then deeper in to my childhood to my gran’s kitchen. I saw three generations of girls and women working together, carefully placing rows of hand-picked raspberries and blackberries on freezer trays... the smell of cinnamon and the feel of aching muscles from milling fresh apples for apple sauce... and each of us taking a turn to stir the fragrant, sticky pot of Christmas pudding for good luck.

Feet firmly planted in my kitchen, I noticed how my body reacted to these sense memories. I inhaled more deeply, feeling my breath move oxygen through my body. My shoulders relaxed, a smile played on my lips, peace filled my heart. And my first thought was: I need to add this to my Personal Comfort Plan.

I had spent some time several months ago reflecting on the things that would bring me comfort through illness and my end of life. Things like:

• my own pillow and hot bean bag if I’m admitted to a care facility
• my favorite picture of me breastfeeding my youngest child and a photo of my eldest smiling toothlessly on a beach in Hawaii, and
• notes for how I’d like my loved ones to treat me like matching the pace of their breath with mine for a soothing presence.

I recorded these and other instructions in My Personal Comfort Plan (a guide and checklist with 7 pillars of personal comfort) and shared it with my loved ones so they would know how to bring me comfort when I need it most. After my sense memory the other night, I spent a few moments adding this note to my plan:

I’d love to gather with my daughters and other women in my life to prepare raspberries, blackberries, apples or peaches. I want to feel the magic that happens when women share work: the conversation, connection, laughter and sense of purpose as we nurture our families through food.

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I entered this comfort wish in the “Readings and Rituals” pillar. More than just the act of preparing traditional food, this comfort wish will gather the women I love in this world and summon my mum, my Gran and other matriarchs from my family line who have already crossed over, wrapping me in a blanket of surety and love.

Preparing your personal comfort wishes is an important step in preparing for the future. Take a few moments to order My Personal Comfort Plan now and begin thinking about the things that would bring peace  - maybe even joy - through illness and your end of life. Is there a family tradition you'd like to experience one last time? A smell that transports you to your grandmother's kitchen? A passage from a book you'd like to hear as you let go of this life?  
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What other comfort wishes might help you complete your life with love and dignity? ​

My Personal Comfort Plan

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Join our FREE Workshop!
I'm collaborating with Reimagine: Love, Life and Loss a Worldwide Virtual Festival on embracing life, facing death, and loving fully, during COVID-19 to host our workshop, "Getting Comfortable with Death: Preparing your personal comfort wishes." In this experiential workshop we'll explore the question, how do you wish to live as you are dying? You'll visualize your final months and moments and reimagine what's possible by defining your Personal Comfort Wishes. 

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My Personal Comfort Plan is filled with many original and thoughtful ways to find comfort at end of life. It gave my client a sense of control and the ability to get creative and even have some fun preparing for their end of life."
~ ​Jenafor Ryane, End-of-Life Doula