I’ve been debating whether to share this post as it is about my own journey through the grief of my mum’s death this past summer. I’ve heard from many people that hearing about my experience has helped them. So, I’m sharing this story in hopes that it will soothe in some way, whatever darkness may be pulling at your heart at the moment.
No matter your faith or beliefs, we seek meaning and purpose, especially when our world seems untethered through loss. Maybe it’s a message of love and release brought by an unexpected visitor. Maybe it’s a loved one asking, “how are you?” and listening deeply to your truthful reply... but my hope for you, today, is for you to ask for what you need and for the Universe to answer. May you be blessed with an open heart and open mind to receive it!
This morning, I packed up the remaining items at my mum’s and said goodbye to the house my sister, Briana and I grew up in. I wondered, as I walked through the empty rooms, how do I say goodbye to a home that holds so many memories?
Turns out, the answer came in the form of a little brown bird.
Briana and I have a long-standing relationship with birds. We believe our deceased loved ones return to us through birds to give us reassurance and comfort. Or, just a little “hello, I’m here” nudge. Our Dad has been visiting us for over 20 years, buzzing in as a hummingbird when we need it most.
This morning as I sat in the sunshine on mum’s back porch, saying my goodbyes, I heard that familiar sound of flapping at a window. I turned and saw a little brown bird trapped INSIDE mum’s house. How did it get in???! I realized I had left the front door open and on this day, of all days, this little bird chose to fly through the door and in to the house. I was stunned for a moment but then thought, Ya, this is about right! Of course mum would want to be here, in this moment, helping me to let go.
It dawned on me, with trepidation and awe, that the task before me was to literally and figuratively release bird/mum from her home. But how do I do this without giving bird/mum a heart attack? (Can you imagine?!!). A quick search yielded a long handled broom, which I used to gently encourage bird/mum to stop stunning itself against the window and fly for the open back door. After a few tries, I managed to get it out of the den and in to the kitchen where it fell on the window sill. I could see its little breath puffing circles on the glass as it rested. Bird/mum flapped about some more and eventually collapsed on to the end of my broom, exhausted. With relief, I shuffled toward the back door, bird/mum balanced on the bristles. I whispered, “it’s ok to go.”
As soon as bird/mum was through the door and clear of the house it took to the sky, directly in to the path of a HUMMINGBIRD!!! My mouth agog, I watched the two birds dance together, circling one another for a moment then perch side by side in a nearby tree. I mean, come on! Hi mum and dad!
It’s a strange reality that both my parents are now on the other side. It also feels so perfect, so poetic to witness bird/mum literally released from the physical confines of her home and welcomed by hummingbird/dad to the freedom of the open air.
Thanks mum, for once again finding a way to lead our healing. You sure come up with some beautiful and creative ways of doing it! Love you. Miss you.